BEIRUT -- I have been on a long break, the longest since I moved to Baghdad in May 2004, but it is soon to end. I will be returning to Iraq at the end of this week, looks like, assuming my passport issues get resolved here at the embassy. (It's nothing serious, just waiting on extra pages and a secondary passport.)
With the kidnapping of my friend, Jill Carroll, and the looming year, I can't say that returning fills me with anything approaching joy. It's not that I'm more afraid because of Jill -- I'm used to the kidnapping threat now -- but I'm faced with the prospect of locking myself up in a compound or embedding, neither of which is a particularly pleasant working environment. It's grim in the Hamra compound these days, from what I hear from my remaining friends.
And also, I wonder just how many more times I can go through seeing a friend on TV surrounded by gunmen. Of course, that doesn't even begin to compare to what Jill's family is going through. It's just that I've seen it so often: James Brandon, Michah Garen, John Martinkus, Marla Ruzicka and Rory Carroll (no relation), just to name a few of the 36 journalists kidnapped I know personally. More than 60 journalists have been killed, including Enzo Baldoni and Steven Vincent. Iraq is a damn dangerous place.
Anyway, I'll be back later this week and more regular blog updates should commence shortly after. I also have figured out how to do a radio show using iChat and Garage Band, so A., my office manager and I will be taking questions, once I get the final logistics settled. These "mortar side-chats" will then become regular podcasts, inshallah.
What drives us to do what we’re called to do is deep and personal in all of us. I had so much stress and violence in my life as a kid (got ulcers at 8) that I can’t imagine putting myself anywhere near that kind of fear and danger, but I certainly understand your need to get back to that place FOR THE LARGER CAUSE than merely for your own career. Since you certainly could cash all your experience so far into a more than decent gig outta harm’s way I’m sure.
So hat’s off to you, stay safe and I look forward to your reports and podcasts. And my thoughts to your poor mom, who worries about you like my mother does about my little brother, who’s now in the mountains of Afghanistan (after a year in Baghdad), looking for Taliban needles in the haystack. So I can imagine your mom’s concern every day you’re gone. Stay strong, mom.
Peace, Chris.
I have a feeling you’ll end up where you need to be.
I greatly look forward to your podcasts, and will be an avid listener and/or participant. Just be sure and explain how to hook up with you for those of us needing a bit of a walk-through!
Take care…
Hi Chris, I, for one, am glad that you are returning. I understand that not returning is just not an option at this point. Seems that there is some unfinished business there for you. Just a feeling on my part. I also hope to listen and participate during your podcasts-inshallah
My best to you and all of those around you, Con
I was just surfing around, collecting accounts by journalists of why they were NOT going to be reporting from Iraq much longer. Thought you would probably be joining that category; now I see this announcement.
In a real war (not a movie), saying “be careful” doesn’t add up to much. The randomness of death is the game. And you seem to be called back into it. Bless you.