More on Progress in Iraq?

Yesterday’s ridiculous list of accomplishments isn’t just wrong. It’s a hoax and a spoof of an Oct. 9 press conference given by CPA Administrator Paul Bremer.

Hm. Interesting… Sorry to obsess over a silly list, but I just know the one “I deconstructed yesterday”:http://www.back-to-iraq.com/archives/000656.php is going to get floated around at some point. It’s important to know what’s true and what’s not.
It turns out that the list discussed yesterday is a greatly, ahem, “enhanced” roster of accomplishments that was based on CPA Administrator Paul Bremer’s “Oct. 9, 2003 press conference”:http://www.cpa-iraq.org/transcripts/20031009_Oct-09Bremerpresscon.htm in Baghdad.
There are a number of changes, and they prove that the list from “Karl Nielsen” is a hoax. What’s kind of funny about this is that looking over these items, it’s pretty obvious the forger was spoofing Bremer’s list — and the FreeRepublic and NewsMax thought it bucked them up. In hindsight, it would have been more efficient to just dismiss the Nielsen list as bogus right off the bat, but it was more fun to call, say, McDonald’s and Bloomingdale’s and get a comment from them. Well, at least I fact-checked the list, which is more than what some reporters in Washington seem to do these days.
Here are the two lists for comparison:

Bremer’s List “Karl Nielsen’s” list
The first battalion of the new Iraqi Army has graduated and is on active duty. The first battalion of the new Iraqi Army has graduated and is on active duty
over 60,000 Iraqis now provide security to their fellow citizens. ~60,000 Iraqis providing security to citizens. They will receive weapons by June 2004.
nearly all of Iraqís 400 courts are functioning. Nearly all of Iraq’s 400 courts are functioning and 24 judges have passed the American bar.
the Iraqi judiciary is fully independent. The Coalition approved Iraqi judiciary is fully independent.
on Monday, October 6 power generation hit 4,518 megawatts — exceeding the pre-war average. Power generation hit 4,518 megawatts for one day in October exceeding prewar output.
all 22 universities and 43 technical institutes and colleges are open, as are nearly all primary and secondary schools. All 22 Universities & 43 technical institutes/colleges are open and most of them have teachers. Nearly all primary and secondary schools are open for at least ninety minutes a day.
Coalition forces had rehabbed over 1,500 schools — 500 more than their target. Coalition has “rehabbed” 1,500+ schools (500 ahead of schedule) and many of them have roofs and electricity.
teachers earn from 12 to 25 times their former salaries. Teachers earn from 12-25 times their former salaries.
all 240 hospitals and more than 1200 clinics are open. All 240 hospitals and more than 1200 clinics are open and 10% have running water.
  Hoosiers has opened its first restaurant in Bagdad (sic).
doctors’ salaries are at least eight times what they were under Saddam. Doctors salaries are at least 8 times what they were under Saddam.
pharmaceutical distribution has gone from essentially nothing to 700 tons in May to a current total of 12,000 tons. Pharmaceutical distribution has gone from almost zero to 12,000 tons and Prozac has been made available for free.
the Coalition has helped administer over 22 million vaccination doses to Iraqís children.  
  Five Wallmarts (sic) are set to go up in the main cities of Iraq.
a Coalition program has cleared over 14,000 kilometers of Iraq’s 27,000 kilometers of weed-choked canals. They now irrigate tens of thousands of farms. This project has created jobs for more than 100,000 Iraqi men and women. Coalition has cleared 14,000+km of Iraq’s 27,000km of weed-choked canals which now irrigate tens of thousands of farms. This project has created 100,000+ jobs for Iraqi men & women.
  Three golf courses have been built.[I still kind of believe this one. — Ed.]
we have restored over three-quarters of pre-war telephone services and over two-thirds of the potable water production. Coalition has restored over 3/4 of prewar telephone services and 2/3+ of potable water production.
there are 4,900 full-service connections. We expect 50,000 by January first. [In Bremer’s speech, he’s actually referring to Internet connections here and not phone connections. — Ed.] 4,900+ full-service telephone connections (~50,000 by year-end).
the wheels of commerce are turning. From bicycles to satellite dishes to cars and trucks, businesses are coming to life in all major cities and towns. Commerce is expanding rapidly (bicycles, satellite dishes, cars, RV vehicles, etc) in all major cities and towns.
95 percent of all pre-war bank customers have service and first-time customers are opening accounts daily. 95% of all prewar bank customers have service and first-time customers are opening accounts daily and receiving a free toaster.
Iraqi banks are making loans to finance businesses. Iraqi banks are making loans to finance businesses.
the central bank is fully independent.  
Iraq has one of the world’s most growth-oriented investment and banking laws. Iraq has one of the world’s most growth-oriented investment and banking laws. The Bagdad Stock Exchange opened stimulating a blossoming business in speculation.
Iraq (has) a single, unified currency for the first time in 15 years. Iraq has a single, unified currency for the first time in 15 years. Despite many demands from monetory authorities Vice-President Dick Cheney turned down requests to allow his picture to be used on the currency.
satellite dishes are legal. Satellite TV dishes are legal.
foreign journalists aren’t on 10-day visas paying mandatory and extortionate fees to the Ministry of Information for “minders” and other government spies. Foreign journalists are not on “10-day visas” paying mandatory fees to the Ministry of Information for minders. There is no such Ministry.
there is no Ministry of Information.  
there are more than 170 newspapers. There are 170+ newspapers. The first issue of _Playboy_ was published.
  Plans have been approved to open 45 McDonalds restaurants.
you can buy satellite dishes on what seems like every street corner.  
foreign journalists and everyone else are free to come and go.  
a nation that had not one single element — legislative, judicial or executive — of a representative government, does.  
in Baghdad alone residents have selected 88 advisory councils. Baghdad’s first democratic transfer of power in 35 years happened when the city council elected its new chairman.  
today in Iraq chambers of commerce, business, school and professional organizations are electing their leaders all over the country. Iraqi Chambers of commerce, businesses, schools and professional organizations are electing their leaders all over the country.
  Over 170,000 credit cards have been issued to qualified individuals.
25 ministers, selected by the most representative governing body in Iraqís history, run the day-to-day business of government.  
the Iraqi government regularly participates in international events. Since July the Iraqi government has been represented in over two dozen international meetings, including those of the UN General Assembly, the Arab League, the World Bank and IMF and, today, the Islamic Conference Summit. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs today announced that it is reopening over 30 Iraqi embassies around the world.  
Shia religious festivals that were all but banned, aren’t.  
for the first time in 35 years, in Karbala thousands of Shiites celebrate the pilgrimage of the 12th Imam.[My Shi’ite friends still say this is wrong. It’s the 3rd Imam. — Ed.] For the first time in 35 years, in Karbala, thousands of Shiites celebrate the pilgrimage of the 12th Imam.
  Bloomingdales has been signed as the anchor store in the new Metro Bagdad Mall.
the Coalition has completed over 13,000 reconstruction projects, large and small, as part of (a) strategic plan for the reconstruction of Iraq. The Coalition has completed 13,000+ reconstruction projects, large and small, as part of a strategic plan for the reconstruction of Iraq.
  American businesses are making tremendous profits from the reconstruction to offset the expense and loss the United States suffered in the war.
Uday and Queasy are dead — and no longer feeding innocent Iraqis to his zoo lions, raping the young daughters of local leaders to force cooperation, torturing Iraq’s soccer players for losing games, murdering critics. Uday and Queasy are dead, and no longer feeding Iraqis to the zoo lions, raping the young daughters of local leaders to force cooperation, torturing Iraq’s soccer players for losing games, or murdering critics.
children aren’t imprisoned or murdered when their parents disagree with the government. Children aren’t imprisoned or murdered when their parents disagree with the government.
  Sesame Street and Barney, previously forbidden in Iraq, is now aired daily.
political opponents aren’t imprisoned, tortured, executed, maimed, or are forced to watch their families die for disagreeing with Saddam. Political opponents aren’t imprisoned, tortured, executed, maimed, or forced to watch their families die for disagreeing with Saddam.
millions of long-suffering Iraqis no longer live in perpetual terror. Millions of long-suffering Iraqis no longer live in perpetual terror.
Saudi swill hold municipal elections.* As a side effect, in neighboring countries, (1) Saudis will hold municipal elections,
Qatar is reforming education to give more choices to parents.* (2) Qatar will allow citizens to use credit cards which were formerly forbidden under Islamic law,
Jordan is accelerating market economic reforms.* (3) Jordan has begun broadcasting American television programming; Friends, Sienfield, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,
the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded for the first time to an Iranian — a Muslim woman who speaks out with courage for human rights, for democracy and for peace.* (4) through Coalition influence the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded (first time) to an Iranian (Muslim woman) who speaks out for human rights/democracy and peace.
[President Bush] has not faltered or failed.  
Saddam is gone. Saddam is gone.
Iraq is free. Iraq is free.
  Little or none of this information has been published by the Press Corps that prides itself on bringing you all the news that’s important. Iraq, under US lead control, has come further in six months than Germany did in seven years or Japan did in nine years following WWII. Military deaths from fanatic Nazi’s and Japanese numbered in the thousands and continued for over three years after WWII victory was declared. It took the US over four months to clear away the twin tower debris, let alone attempt to build something else in its place.
Now, take into account that many people in our government and media continue to claim on a daily basis on national TV that this conflict has been a failure. Taking everything into consideration, even the unfortunate loss of our sons and daughters in this conflict, do you think any other country in the world could have accomplished as much as the United States and its coalition partners have in so short a period of time?

4 thoughts on “More on Progress in Iraq?”

  1. Never Let it Be Said that We Don’t Help

    Canada has just agreed to forgive its portion of Iraq’s foreign debt. Over and above the $300 million we’ve already contributed, this brings our total contribution to Iraq to a cool billion. It only makes sense, after all. Why hobble…

  2. Never Let it Be Said that We Don’t Help

    Canada has just agreed to forgive its portion of Iraq’s foreign debt. Over and above the $300 million we’ve already contributed, this brings our total contribution to Iraq to a cool billion. It only makes sense, after all. Why hobble…

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